a.sugar.cube.to.a.bitter.tea.

"Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace, and your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace." -Jerry Bridges

This past summer, I was given the opportunity to go to youth camp as a dorm leader. I was not going really expecting anything to happen, but I have come to realize that when you least expect it, God will show up and do something amazing. I think that sometimes, our expectations of what should happen in our lives are nothing. We want something great to happen, but everyone tells us it will never happen. I know for me I have had a calling placed on my life and those who are closest to me could never come to terms with what God wanted for my life. More often than not, we let other peoples words and views of our lives dictate what we do, but really, it should be Gods words directing our life story.

Camp has always been a week for me to get away and have fun. And,it was a week for me to get away and just relieve some of the stress that I had, but in the midst of all of this, God had something bigger planned for me. Forgiveness is something that I have always struggled with in my life especially forgiveness toward my dad. All of the hurt and pain in that has literally almost killed me over the years. I have finally been able to deal with all of it and God completely broke my heart and it was finally the time to give it all up. One other thing that I was not expecting was the forgiveness of self. This is what I dealt with the most at camp. I felt so bad the first two nights at camp because I knew I was supposed to be there to pray with the students, but I just felt like I couldn't do it and that it wasn't the right time. I almost wanted to just put up a wall and go pray for them anyways, but I felt that God wanted me to deal with somethings in my life first. Forgiveness of self is so important and I am glad that God showed that to me. I keep a lot of this locked up inside of me and its so hard when it all builds up and then comes crashing down. God broke me of some sin that I have been struggling with for years and I couldn't be happier. God's grace is so much bigger, stronger, and more amazing than I could ever imagine.